Justification, Procrastination, Excuses

So, it's been more than a month since I blogged. So much for my promises that I'd spend 10 minutes a day doing this. I have many excuses as to why I haven't, many being justified. I've procrastinated like crazy on this and so many other things. We all do it, don't we? But I guess the important thing is that I keep trying.

Here' one of my greatest justifications that I came up with though. I've spent the past 4 days working 10-12 hours a day writing a paper. So, by my calculations 10 hours X 4 days X 60 mins/hour = 2400 minutes. That's 240 days of writing, so I've more than covered my sins of the past several months, right?

Justifications don't do much other than make us feel better about ourselves. Sure, I did do a lot of writing, good writing in the last several days. But does it leave my mark? My story?

Challenge: What are you justifying to make yourself feel better?

Barricades and unintended messages

This barricade stood outside of the administration building of the college where I spent a month at the Summer Institute for Intercultural Communication. When I first saw the barricade, I was struck by the irony of it. “American Barricade” is the company name. However, to me it says so much more. I won’t go into all the details of what I thought, but the important thing is the sign communicated to me something that was not intended. This is the complexity of communication. Like the childhood game of Broken Telephone Wire, sometimes the message we are sending is not what is received.

I am also reminded of a former co-worker. She is a lovely, caring lady. Yet, she often comes across as rude. At one time I mentioned to her how her actions in a situation had been perceived and she was astounded. She had no idea of how others saw her.

This former co-worker and the American Barricade make me stop to think. How do others see me? Am I sending a message that I don’t intend to send?

Challenge What might you be communicating to others that you don’t mean to? What is your sign saying?

Powerless

One of my best friends calls me a control freak, just like her. While I may not agree with her that I’m a control freak, I will admit that I like to know what is going on. I don’t have to have control, but I want to know that someone has control. Today I received news that one of my friends has gone missing in the Glacier National Park . I feel powerless. There is nothing I can do. I don’t have control and it seems that no one does. Park rangers can’t find any signs of him on the trails. I am frustrated. My first instinct was to turn to food, but I was so upset that I was nauseated. But then, I begin to feel peace. Because I know that even though I don’t have power or other humans around me do not, that there is a higher power that does have control. So, I hope and pray for the outcome to be a good one.

Challenge What do you turn to when you feel you have no control?

Life Plans

Watching the 2008 Beijing Olympics has caused me to reminisce about my life plans. I remember first watching the Olympics in 1984. I loved to watch the synchronized swimmers. They were so graceful. However, my all time favorite Olympian is Zola Budd. As I watched her run barefoot, I thought to myself, “I’m going to be the next Zola Budd!” Perhaps I related to her so well because I grew up in South Africa and ran barefoot until I came to the U.S. when I was forced to wear shoes. Now, twenty-four years later, I sit on my coach, 35+ pounds overweight, with absolutely no hopes of ever winning an Olympic medal. There is a small part of me that is sad that this childhood dream will never be realized. As kids we are told we can do anything. Oh, wait, there’s more to that, IF we work hard and set our mind to it. After coming to the U.S., I never worked hard to realize this dream.

However, the biggest part of me is not sad that I’m not sweating in the Beijing heat, tearing my body to pieces. I am so content to have a wonderful husband who works hard to provide a beautiful home and the opportunity to stay at home with our most beautiful and adorable children. Beyond the Olympic dream, life has not turned out how I planned. It has turned out better in many, many ways. I have so much to be thankful. I could not have planned my life to turn out like this. I have learned over the last 7 years that I can make plans, but I must be ready for a surprise that’s always going to be better than I planned.

Challenge: Are you trying to control your life so much that you can’t enjoy it? Relax. Plan, but be ready for the surprises.

Junk

This evening I was clearing out my email box. I literally had hundreds of junk emails that I had saved: notifications from Netflix saying they had sent or received a movie, emails from a website for mothers that I never read, and Facebook notifications saying that Joe Shmoe has added me as a friend. The list goes on. I keep everything regardless of whether or not I will ever read it again. Why? Because some day I MIGHT need it! This habit carries over into my paper files too. I have clutter everywhere to the point that I can’t function sometimes. Then I finally get tired of it all and throw everything away. Then, of course, the very next week I do need something that I have trashed. This then reiterates my need to cling to everything. But, I survive even without that one thing I needed and am much happier in a clutter-free environment. I can find things easier and am not weighted down by the junk. I can breathe again!

Challenge: What are you holding onto that you need to release?

Perfect Procrastination

I’m a procrastinator. If I can put it off, I will. Now is never the time for me to do it. Later is always better. I never understood this about myself until a friend asked me, “Amanda, are you a perfectionist?” Puzzled by the question, I responded, “Yeah, why do you ask?” He went on to explain that perfectionist put off things because they know they can’t do it perfectly. WOW! What a revelation! He was so right. I don’t want to do things “now” because I don’t have the right amount of time to do them perfectly. Or perhaps, I don’t have all the tools I need to make it just right. If there is any reason at all why I can’t do it completely and perfectly, I don’t do it. Therefore, I have a pile of filing in my living room that hasn’t been touched in a year. I have not written my 10 minutes a day for the last 3 weeks. I have not touched my scrapbook (the one I started in 1995) in 4 months. I have put off all these things because I cannot do them perfectly the first time. But when I think about it, it’s absolutely ABSURD! I don’t do the project because I can’t do it perfectly? But then it doesn’t get done at all! How crazy is that? All this accomplishes is that I have perfected one thing. I have perfect procrastination!

So, once again I am picking up the challenge to “write 10 minutes per day.” I am going to disregard my perfectionism and write. So, there might be slight grammatical errors or perhaps I’m not always as eloquent as I could be. But the important thing for me to do is to WRITE!

Challenge: What reasons or personality quirks are keeping you from doing what you need to do? What will it take for you to dedicate just 10 minutes a day to that project? Do it now! Do not wait! It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does need to get done!

Excuses

This post was originally posted on 7-25-08 on my previous site (http://www.thoughts.com/atippey/blog).

Excuses
It is late. I’m tired. I’m homesick. My whole body aches. My brain is mush from being in class for 4 days learning about the DMIS. I do not feel like writing. I need to pack. I have class in the morning.

These are just a few of the many excuses that are going through my mind as to why I should NOT be writing. Yet, here I write. I made a promise to myself and to you, the reader, that I would spend 10 minutes a day writing. So, this evening I have nothing profound to write. But, perhaps it is not the profoundness of what we say or the spectacular action that we take, which touches others? Perhaps it is in the simple act of doing that makes the difference. So, here I sit writing so that you may be touched and perhaps encouraged to stop making excuses and to take action.

Challenge: What is your excuse?

Family & Loved Ones

This post was originally posted on 7-23-08 on my previous site (http://www.thoughts.com/atippey/blog).

Family & Loved Ones

Today is my birthday! For the first time in my life, I found myself alone, away from friends and family. Or, so I thought. I had not advertised the fact that it was my birthday because I did not want to draw attention to myself and, for some masochistic reason, I wanted to be able to suffer in silence because I wasn’t with the ones I loved. However, thanks to the birthday announcement on Facebook, my idea of “loved ones” changed.

This evening I left for drinks with acquaintances from the conference I am attending and came back with friends and loved ones. How could this have happened in such a short time? Because one person who saw the post on Facebook cared enough to share with others that it was my birthday. Before the evening was over, I found myself surrounded by 8+ friends who genuinely cared for me. They stepped in where they saw a void, and touched my soul deeply. What I was expecting to be the worst birthday of my life, turned into one of the best!Challenge: What can you do today to fill a void in someone else’s life? What simple gesture can make another’s day? How can you become someone's "family," friend, or loved one?

What would it take?

This post was originally posted on 7-22-08 on my previous site (http://www.thoughts.com/atippey/blog).

What would it take?
Last week I had the pleasure of taking a workshop with Patti Digh and David Robinson, co-founders of The Circle Project. I had expressed my desire to write a children’s book to David who is, amongst many other things, a children’s book author. During a lunch meeting with Patti and David, Patti asked me a profound question: “What would it take for you to write a children’s book?” At first I laughed and responded with what is the typical human excuse as to why we put the things off. “I need more time, a baby sitter, more money, etc.” In his gentle guiding way, David countered my excuses by suggesting that I start by finding only 10 minutes a day to write. What a simple idea! Why hadn’t I thought of that? It is now 6 days later and I have written 2 single-spaced pages. It is far from perfect, which grates on my perfectionist tendencies. However, perfection is not the goal. It may not be perfect and it may not be much, but I have the beginnings of my life story down on paper for my children to read. (Thank you to Carlos Cortes for the inspiration to write my life story). Imagine what I will have after one year of writing 10 minutes a day:
2 pages X 52 weeks=104 pages=a book!?!

I am starting this blog as an inspiration for myself and others. My hope is that together we can stop putting off for tomorrow that which we can do today (adapted quote from Thomas Jefferson).

Challenge: What are you putting off? What is it that you do not have time for? What if you dedicated only 10 minutes each day to that? Stop procrastinating and take a step today.

Changing Blogging Site

After spending a week more carefully researching blogging sites, I've decided to change my host site. I want to be able to post pictures and be more creative in my layouts and this seems to be the better option for me and hopefully for you the reader too. Let me know what you think of the new site.